Merry Christmas!

I've been in training recently as I've heard there's a vacancy on the sleigh pulling front. Something to do with Dasher having a hernia.

Anyway, for those of you canines wanting to break into the seldom tapped reindeer market, here's how it's done:

1. You will need a really big run up, set off fast and determined 2. Keep the pace, don't get distracted by smells or creatures, run as fast as you can.

3. Take a giant leap and think "UP!"

So, that's how you do it! Merry Christmas to you all. Hope you've been good, if so I may see you tonight on my Sleigh pulling mission!

It Looked Tasty

What is it about grass that makes it look so tasty and then fail on every possible level of taste? Mummy: Don't eat that you'll be sick
Me: But it looks tasty
Mummy (pulling me away): No Dudley you'll be sick
Me (chewing on a mouthful of grass): But it's so lovely and greeeeen... oh! Holy crap! What is that taste? Mummy, it's horrible! I'm going to be sick...
Mummy: Idiot dog

A Quick Quiz

What am I looking at in this picture?

Wordless Wednesday

Cat vs Dog

Sorry I haven't posted in a while I've been too busy campaigning for the 'Dog' side of the which is better 'Cat or Dog?' argument. You can make your own campaign poster here.

Snack Time

Now one thing you might not know about me is that I a great fan of treats. I'll do anything for a biscuit, paw, sit, lay down, stay, I'll do them all for a lovely tasty biscuit.

Sometimes I'm extra lucky and my Mummy bakes me homemade dog biscuits just for me. She asked that I share my two favourite recipes with the world so all my doggy pals can try them too.

Unfortunately I don't get them too often as Mummy says they make the house stink. which is true, but if you ask me it makes it stink lovely!

Beefy Biscuits

• 320g flour (plain or whole wheat)
• 65g powdered milk
• 1 tsp. sugar
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1 egg
• 120ml beef stock cooled*

Take your cooled beef stock and add the rest of the ingredients. Mix round until a dough is formed and knead slightly.

Roll dough until 1/2" thick; cut into shapes. Bake on lightly greased baking try at gas mark 4 for 30 minutes.

(*Mummy sometimes adds a little yeast extract to the beef stock for extra beefiness - Mmmm Marmite...)

Cheesy Biscuits

• 125g flour (plain or whole wheat)
• 125g grated cheese
• 1 tablespoon margarine (or softened butter)
• 120ml milk

In a large bowl mix the flour and cheese together. Add the margarine and then slowly add milk until a dough forms. Knead the dough slightly on a floured surface.

Roll out to 1/4 inch thick. Cut into shapes and place on a baking tray. Bake in the oven for 15 minutes on gas mark 4. Leave them in the oven until they have cooled. These should be kept in the fridge to stay fresh, that is if you don’t scoff them all as soon as they are made!

The Emporer's New Coat

I've got a new coat. mummy made it for me. it's stripey and snug. She crocheted it. How did I get this new coat? Well, quite simple. If you want a new coat follow these steps:

1. Get excited that you're going for a walk but as soon as the door opens run outside then come straight back in with a face that says "you're not going to make me go out in the cold are you mummy?"

2. Whenever you're on a walk and your mummy and daddy stop to look at something whine pathetically.

3. When you're outside and your mummy and daddy look at you pretend to shiver violently.

Follow these steps and you'll have a new coat before you know it.

And Now... A Question For My Readers:

Can you roll your tongue?

I can

I'm Still Here

Hi Everyone!

I just wanted to explain my lack of posts recently. There's a simple answer - Mummy and Daddy got me a new bed.

I love it! It's so comfy and fleecey warm! I promise you, I'm in the picture somewhere!

Hope you're all as comfy and spoiled as I am

Your pal,

Dudley 'Sleepy Boy' Doo

Scalextric is Fun

Mummy and Daddy bought a Scalextric last week. They said it would be fun and boy, they weren't kidding! I'm not sure what kind of animal those moving things are but I'm sure going to have a go at killing them!

Sleepy Saturday

How To Maintain A Nice Doggy Smile

Dentastix are my preferred method when it comes to keeping my teeth gleaming and white. As you can see making sure you get rid of all the plaque means extreme concentration.Once you've nibbled with your front teeth clean your incisors, don't stop until they're sparkling. And whatever you do, make sure you don't forget those pesky back teeth.

A Biscuit? Thank You.

As you can see my sitting like a good boy technique paid off. If you need me I'll be in bed, stuffing my face. I'm such a lucky boy!

Biscuit Please

Like Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard my biscuit tin has been empty for the past few days. It's not as if I haven't been a good boy (except for the soon to be blogged about Scalextric car incident). I keep hearing phrases like "Damn it! We forgot the dog biscuits" so yesterday I commenced my plan.

Just as Derren Brown tonight will be trying to turn the nation into 'Psychic Spies' I have been practising my mind control techniques using the 'sit like a good boy and stare' technique. Here's how you do it: repeat after me:

GIVE ME A BISCUIT. GIVE ME A BISCUIT. GIVE ME A BISCUIT.

Morning Cheer

I'm an angel, ask anyone and they'll tell you. you only have to look at me. Here, look:It's just sometimes I have a cheeky side, a playful side. Unfortunately, it's not always well-received. Take this morning, for instance. I got out of the door to get into the car far the usually drive to my Granny's. My mummy looked sleepy and a bit annoyed so I thought I'd cheer her up while also waking her up with a little bit of fun. Mummy opened the car door.

"Dudley, get in" she said, as she always does.

I took this as my cue to run around the garden skipping merrily past my Mummy.

"Dudley, get in" she said, angrily.

'Oh, I get it' I thought, 'she doesn't get it's a game' So I ran to the car door, then shot back round the garden for another lap. Daddy had come out of the house now to start up his motorbike and was also shouting at me to get in the car.

"Dudley, get in, or I will go without you" she said, growling at me through her teeth and starting the engine. I took another lap around the car.

Mummy and Daddy suddenly saw the fun side of this game and started laughing loudly so I ran straight into the back seat of the car wagging happily.

All Work And No Play

I'm not impressed. Everyone's back to work, I much prefer holidays.

I Love Weekends

I really like cuddling up with my Daddy on a weekend. If I'm lucky I even get to muscle my way under the covers. Hope you have a relaxing weekend!

A Short Musical Interlude

I can sing too, did I ever mention that? Here I am with my self-penned song "Leave me alone you crazy people I'm trying to sleep... ok then I'll sing for you"

My single will be out in time for Christmas!

I didn't come here to be insulted

Mummy and Daddy keep writing in sand. So far they've written written the above on
Heysham beach in Lancashire, Porthkidney beach near Hayle in Cornwall and Fraisthorpe beach near Bridlington in Yorkshire. I'm told we're off to Scotland camping as Mummy and Daddy are on holiday next week so look out for it on the beaches up there.

Beach Loving Mutt

I had a great weekend, Mummy and Daddy took me to the beach, well Daddy technically took me as he drove, Mummy just sat there looking pretty. Anyway, we went to Fraisthorpe beach on the East Coast. Apparently it used to be a nudist beach (hence the THIS IS NOT A NATURIST BEACH signs at the car park) but I was completely without a jacket and they never asked me to cover up, I suppose I did have my collar on though...

I love being at the beach, I enjoy the feeling of sand in between my paws and more recently I've been enjoying paddling, which came as a surprise to me as I've always been afraid of the water. I now happily trot into the water and get my paws wet. Mummy and Daddy had their socks and shoes off and were paddling too. We walked all the way up the beach in the lovely sunshine.

It was a great day! I'm such a lucky doggy.

Poor Doggy Pal

Browsing the internet for my daily doggy news fix I found this story and I can't help thinking this dog could do with one of the woolly jumpers my mummy made me, or a wax-cotton jacket just like the one I have. Either way it could do with something, I'm so lucky to be so handsome. Either way I do hop E.T. finds a home soon. And gets a jumper.

Cornwall Beach Adventures

I've been to Cornwall, I'd never been before. The weather has been awful here in the UK so we went somewhere where there was a chance I'd be able to get a teeny bit of a sun tan.

This is me on the beach at Panzance, in the background you can see St Michael's Mount. I wasn't allowed there as Cornwall beaches are very anti-dog.

You can only go on most beaches after 7 which is why this picture is quite dark. Luckily we did find a beautiful beach in Hayle I was allowed to run on, here's me having fun with my Daddy.

We ran around and jumped in the waves (which are now no longer scary) and I watched the sunset.I had a lovely holiday but as you can see it was very tiring. This is how I spent my journey 400 miles North to home:

Hope you're having a good summer.

Wags and best wishes x

Busy Pooch

I've been a busy little pooch lately and the weather has been unbearable hot. I might look like a skinny shivering greyhound who might not enjoy winter, but believe me, I prefer it.

Whenever it's warm I go into a state of inactivity and believe me, it's been warm these past few weeks. It's been in the high twenties and I don't have the stamina for it. My days have consisted of sleeping, dragging myself outside to pee, finding a cool spot to lounge in, eating a bit of food then sleeping again. Whenever I've been dragged outside I end up panting like an idiot. I'll be glad when it's cooler and I can run around like a mad man to keep myself warm!

Mummy and Daddy are taking me camping again in a couple of weeks so hopefully I'll have lots of adventures to tell you all about!

Hope you're not too hot!

Camouflage Dog

You may have thought that I always stand out from the crowd, but as you can see I'm also very good at blending in - it's just the white tip of my tail that gives me away...

Wordless Wednesday

Home Improvements Are Such A Drag

Mummy and Daddy have been running around trying to make our place look nicer, they've bought all sorts of new things. There's a new chair and a new sofa which I'm not allowed on despite the fact that the sofa is far bigger than the last one. There's a new computer desk and then this metal prison thing at one of the doors. I've heard them call it a 'veranda' as far as I can tell this must be French or something for 'torture device' as it allows me to see passing creatures but stops me from getting to chase them. While they were running round assembling all this new furniture I just took it easy, well there's no point getting worked up about these changes is there?

Missing Dog

Trawling round the internet my mummy found a blog called Where is Jacob our Bracco? written to make people aware of their Bracco Italiano who went missing in January from Saffron Walden, UK and it's quite an upsetting read. It made me sad to think a doggy could be wondering the streets, rehomed without trying to find the owner or even taken by someone and sold on. I'll be keeping an eye out just in case he's made it up into Yorkshire. He's a very handsome dog and quite an unusual breed (not like typical lurcher-faced me) so someone must know where he is.

Rhosneigr Trip (part 1)

I've been on holiday in Rhosneigr which is why I haven't posted for a bit. We stayed at a campsite near RAF Valley, planes were flying in formation overhead and swooping low over the campsite as they came in to land. It was quite noisy.But, as you can see, it didn't bother me, although I did steal my Daddy's hat so I could pretend it was me that was in charge of the planes. Here is me plotting to take over the world:

I love camping!

Hunting in the Sunshine

Mummy and Daddy don't like me hunting, but that doesn't stop me trying whenever I get chance. It's been lovely and sunny so I've been able to explore with the sun on my back.

I looked round for something to chase.
I didn't see anything so I tried to search a little higher up.

I found nothing so looked to the right and the left.

Then I searched high...... and low.
I found nothing, and eventually Mummy and Daddy called me back.

They told me I was naughty to look for things to chase.
So I sat like a good boy, and only took a sneaky look at passing creatures.

In Disguise

Shhh! You ain't seen me. I am in disguise, as a Romanian woman. I'm hiding from the gravy bone police who believe I am the perpetrator of a very serious theft. No less than 4 gravy bones were stolen from an undisclosed location by a suspect described as "hairy."It was not me. I did not do it...

..OK, I did.

Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon

Such...a hard...
life!

Tails From The Waiting Room

I’d like to say I managed the stress of the vet’s waiting room with all the dignity and honour a muscular lurcher like myself can muster. I’d like to say I handled it with a quiet dignity without drawing attention to myself or my owners. I’d like to say that, but what can I say? The waiting room was quiet and I was bored and there were OTHER DOGS there that I wasn’t allowed to say hello to.

I tried to voice my discontentment with a quiet whimpering, I tried that for about 5 minutes but was largely ignored. I then increased the volume of my whimpering and interspersed various loud directional barks at other dogs to try and get them to help me voice my discontent.
This didn’t work. The only animal to join in was a cat. “Roooooo!” I went. “Myaaaaaaaahhh” the cat angrily replied.

So I spun round on the spot attempting to attract more attention (the whole waiting room and my owners were all now looking at me but all they were doing was laughing - honestly, humans are stupid!) the only problem was I banged my foot on the chair in the process. It made me yelp, people started to pay more attention to me so I continued the yelp for what seemed like a lifetime. By now I was getting the sympathy and attention I rightly deserved, until I made one fatal mistake. I jumped up at my daddy who was by now hoping the ground would swallow him up, in doing so I put my weight on my fake “injured” foot.

It was a rookie mistake, I admit, because they now knew I was faking it. But I'd at least made enough noise by this point to make the nice vet lady came out to take me in the other room that smelt all of other animals.
There were no other animals in the room. It was a trick! But she fussed me and touched me all over and came at me with what looked like a pull toy. I was quickly told it was no pull toy, but actually a stethoscope that was chilly on my chest. Then she stabbed me with needles! Oh, the pain!!!! But then she took me and put me on the scales and I forgot completely what I’d been yelping about.

I’m half a kilo over greyhound racing weight apparently. Which is fine as I’m not a professional athlete.

The vet lady then gave me some biscuits. I forgave her for the whole stabbing with needles thing and then me, mummy and daddy left.

I then spent the evening milking it, looking pained in order to get biscuits and lots of lovely milk from mummy and daddy. Maybe the vets waiting room isn't that bad after all!

My Favourite Places

1. The back of the car When I'm in the back of the car I know I'm going somewhere different, somewhere exciting, somewhere fun. I love being in the back of the car, close to Mummy and Daddy, relaxing while they chauffeur me to the next place I can pee at. Recently Daddy's taken to buying me rawhide bones to chew while I travel around. I'm so lucky!

Animal Impression of the Day

I'm a very talented dog, I do impressions of other species. Here's my impression of Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

Respect!

This is me during my Hiphop phase circa 2006

There's nothing I like better than chillin with ma homies (i.e. lying down dreaming about chasing rabbits).

What can I say? I'm cool. Ice cool.